Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month was first declared by President Ronald Reagan on October 15, 1988.
On that day he said:
“When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them. This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other causes.
Now, Therefore, I, Ronald Reagan, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim the month of October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I call upon the people of the United States to observe this month with appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities.”
There is nothing easy when it comes to losing a baby and everyone handles loss in very different ways, luckily there are beautiful ways to honor and remember your baby. Here are some ideas to honor your baby for years to come according to Tommy, together for every baby.
Making a memory box
A memory box is a box or envelope that holds items that are related to the birth and to your stillborn baby and that will, in future, allow you to remember your baby and this time with more clarity. You can ask your midwife about creating a memory box.
You may want to take photos of the baby or take handprints or footprints. Your midwife can help with this. Some hospitals are able to store these keepsakes for you if you aren’t ready to take them home yourself. Or you could put them in a sealed envelope or box, which you can open when you’re ready.
If a twin or triplet has died, you could take a photograph of your babies together. One day you might want to show a surviving child their twin or sibling.
Some hospitals offer a memory booklet to record details and measurements of your baby.
You might want to collect scans, pressed flowers you’ve received, letters, the cord-clamp or your own or your baby’s hospital name band.
Remembering your baby in the future
As time passes, you might want to think about continuing to collect and make memories.
Some parents decide to mark anniversaries. These are likely to be triggers for your grief so be aware of this and look after yourself. Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, your baby’s due date, birth date, the day of the funeral – these can all become difficult days. You might want to think about taking time off work, or marking important dates in some way.
How you remember your baby is personal to you and your family. Here are some ideas:
- You may want to get a piece of jewelry made, engraved with your baby’s name or their hand or footprint.
- You may want to plant a tree – in a pot so you can take it with you if you move, or in a garden or special place.
- You could choose a special candle holder and light a candle when you want to have quiet time or on special dates.
- As time goes by grief will continue to hit you in waves. It might be unexpected at times.
How some have chosen to remember their baby
Below are some suggestions of other things that you can do to help create special memories:
- Keep letters and cards.
- You may wish to press the flowers you receive.
- Many families find it helpful to write about their experiences. Try writing a diary or a letter to your baby.
- If you have lost your baby during or after the birth, the first few days are crucial for gathering moments and memories. Spend as much time with your baby as you want. You can often visit your baby after leaving hospital. Some families may wish to take their baby home with them for a day or so.
- It is natural to spend time talking, touching, cuddling and comforting your baby. Being together as a family is often very important. You may want to include other family members or close friends.
- You can dress, wash or undress your baby as you wish. Some mothers wish they had undressed their babies to look at their bodies. You may like to keep the clothes your baby wore. Take as many photographs as you wish. You may like some photographs of the baby being cuddled by you and different family members. Don’t be afraid of taking close up shots.
- Take a lock, or several, of your baby’s hair. The hospital will also make hand, foot and ear prints if you wish. Keep hospital nametags and other items and keep them in a special memory box.
Losing a baby is likely one of the most painful experiences you will have, but honoring them throughout your life can help ease the pain and can help with the healing process. Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing exemplary customer services. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grief and mourning and will do whatever it takes to make our positive workplace environment translate to your experience with us. Adolf Funeral Home has been serving the Berwyn and Willowbrook areas for a number of years. We pride ourselves on being large enough to provide professionalism and reliability, yet small enough to provide personalized service. To discover more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website or call one of our locations today.
Sources:
https://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/awarenessmonth/
