Death is, unfortunately, a natural part of life, and explaining the passing of a loved one can be difficult for a child to process. While it's certainly important to be sensitive to a child's emotional needs during loss, it's also an excellent opportunity to take the time to explain what death is to your young children or teens and help them deal with the emotions they may feel during that time. But what are the best ways to approach that conversation, and what should you say or do?
Before you begin talking, consider these tips to help guide you through your conversation:
Be Honest. It's natural to want to protect your children from some of the harsh realities of life, but it's crucial that you are as open and honest as possible with your kids so that they know the truth and how to mourn. Remember, most children can feel emotions and see when you're not telling the truth, which can sometimes lead to them inventing their own version of the truth to help them fill in the gaps. Don't pretend it didn't happen; share the reality of the situation openly, and feel free to share your emotions with your kids, too!
Share Information. Try to share factual information with your young ones, if you can. For example, you may want to tell them there will be a funeral service and what happens during one, so share when you may be attending. But feel free to share information in small doses- most kids will not be able to handle all of the details at once, so giving them little bits at a time will be easier for them to process. You can also gauge their feelings about it by the questions they ask, which can help you navigate what information to share.
Use Real Words. Death isn't a great time to sugarcoat the facts, so use actual words as much as possible. Avoid using "passed away," "lost," or even "crossed over," and use "dead" or "died." Using these realistic words to describe death will help children in their grieving process in the long run.
Expect a Range of Emotions. Once you share the information about death, particularly if a loved one passed away, you should expect a wide range of emotional responses. Some children may have many questions, some may be sad with lots of crying, and others may be very angry. You may even see young ones crying hysterically one minute and playing with their friends the next. The initial trauma is likely to have more powerful emotions, and that's okay. Let them process the information in their own way and feel their own feelings. Everyone grieves differently, and you'll have time to continue the discussion later.
Answer Questions. Remind yourself to answer any questions your kids may have, even if you're uncomfortable or want to shield them from sad information. Questions indicate curiosity about something they don't understand, so creating a safe space is essential to help them grieve healthily. If you don't know the answer to something, it's always okay to tell them that you don't know.
Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing exemplary customer services. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grief and mourning. We will do whatever it takes to make our positive workplace environment translate to your experience with us.
Adolf Funeral Home has been serving the Berwyn and Willowbrook areas for many years. We pride ourselves on being large enough to provide professionalism and reliability yet small enough to provide personalized service. To discover more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website or call one of our locations today.
Sources:
https://www.npr.org/2019/04/24/716702066/death-talking-with-kids-about-the-end
