Techniques for Dealing with the Anniversary of a Death

Whether it has been one year or ten years after the death of a loved one, the anniversary of the date of their death weighs heavy on our hearts and minds. On the actual date, or the days leading up to or following it, it’s common to experience feelings of grief. 

There is no timeline on how you grieve or how long you should grieve, it varies from person to person. For some, it is a painful reminder of what they have lost. Others have discovered how to incorporate the memories into their daily lives. The thing about grief is that it is ongoing and you never fully move on;  you learn to accept that your life has changed forever. 

If you feel anxious or depressed (or any other array of emotions) as the anniversary of the death of a loved one approaches,  here are some suggestions to help you cope and heal:

Cherish the memories. It’s important to schedule memory time - whether it be an hour, an evening or full day - to remember your loved one. How you spend this time is also up to you. Some prefer to be alone with their memories and have a good cry. Others prefer to be in the company of friends and/or family members sharing stories and having a laugh. Still others may partake in an activity that reminds them of their loved one, such as taking a hike or watching a movie.  By focusing on and honoring the positive memories, you feel a connection to your loved one while helping to ease your pain in the process. 

Create a diversion. For some coping means getting away from your own thoughts or memories for an hour or two. Meeting a friend for lunch or taking a hike in the woods can help you escape for a bit. Immersing yourself in a hobby or chores around the house can give you a sense of accomplishment. 

Traditions - old and new. On the anniversary date, it’s common to recall family traditions such as Thanksgiving at Grandma's house or summers at the lake, and then realize that your loved one will no longer be a part of these gatherings. However, you can honor your loved one’s memory by starting new traditions. If you loved one enjoyed giving back to the community, volunteer for a cause or charity that meant a lot to him or her. Buy a bouquet of his or her favorite flowers on the anniversary date. Not only will this help put positive associations with the anniversary of the death, but he or she will also comfort knowing you are keeping their memory alive. 

Be kind. Grief is a difficult thing, and it's okay to allow yourself to feel all the emotions (good and bad) associated with it. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. However you choose to cope, do it because it feels right to you. 

Adolf Funeral Home & Cremation Services provides the service expertise, guidance, and understanding that is needed during one of the most difficult and emotional times in an individual’s life. It is our commitment to respect a family’s choice regarding arrangement services and help coordinate a meaningful tribute to someone’s life.

To learn more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website or call one of our locations today. 

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Sources

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/end-of-life/in-depth/grief/art-20045340/

https://oureverydaylife.com/long-distance-friend-deal-grief-35180.html

Warning Signs for Suicide Prevention

Worldwide, suicide is the tenth leading cause of death with rates of “completed” suicide 4x higher in men than women. According to the Center for Disease Control, 79% of all U.S. suicides are men. For “non-fatal,” attempted suicide, the rates are 4x more likely to be women and are more prevalent in adolescents and young adults. Suicide is currently the 2nd leading cause of death for people ages 15-34, and 38,000 deaths on average are due to suicide in America each year.

Are There Any Warning Signs?

There is no black and white answer to why one commits suicide, but there are suicide warning signs. If you are concerned that a loved one may be suicidal, watch for changes in behavior or the development of entirely new behaviors. You should be most concerned if the new or changed behaviors are connected to a painful loss or event. It is rare for people who take their own lives to not exhibit some sort of warning sign through words or action.

Suicide most often occurs when hopelessness and despair take over one’s life due to clashing health issues and stressors. Undiagnosed and untreated depression is the most common contributor to suicide along with anxiety and unaddressed substance abuse.

Talk, Mood and Behaviors

There are red flags related to suicide prevention awareness. Take note if someone you love talks about: feeling hopeless, having no reason to live, being a burden to others, unbearable pain, feeling trapped, or of course, killing themselves.

When one is considering suicide there are certain moods that may be expressed: anxiety, depression, irritability, loss of interest in things, shame and humiliation, swings between anger and agitation to relief and sudden improvement.

These are behaviors that one may exhibit: fatigue, isolating from friends and family, sleeping too little or too much, withdrawing from activities, increased use of drugs or alcohol, increased aggression, looking for ways to end their life, calling and visiting people to say goodbyes, giving away cherished possessions.

Genetics and family history can also play a role in suicide, increasing suicidal behaviors among family members up to 55%. Exposure to suicide, i.e., witnessing the act of a family member commit suicide or finding the aftermath, also increases the risk of suicidal behavior.

Socio-economic and family issues also contribute to suicide risk. Homelessness, poverty, unemployment, childhood sexual abuse, loss of a loved one, mental and physical abuse, social isolation, and other life stressors can all increase the risk of suicide, with sexual abuse alone contributing 20% towards the overall likelihood of suicide.

Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing over 100 years of exemplary customer service in the Berwyn (708) 484-4111 and Willowbrook (630) 325-2300 communities. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grief and mourning and will do whatever it takes to make our positive workplace environment translate to your experience with us. We are proud of the personalized service we are able to deliver while maintaining the professionalism and reliability of a larger funeral home. To discover more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website or call one of our locations today.

Sources:

https://www.cdc.gov/

https://afsp.org/

The Opioid Epidemic: Preventing Opioid Deaths

The faces of individuals who have been destroyed by opiate abuse are everywhere. If you think the crisis is not close to your home, you are probably wrong. According to the the United States Surgeon General, an estimated 2.1 million people in the United States struggle with opioid addiction, sadly 130-people every day lose their battle to the addiction and die from an overdose. Since 2010, the number of opioid overdose deaths has doubled from more than 21,000 to more than 42,000 in 2016, with the largest increase occurring among deaths related to illicitly made fentanyl and fentanyl analogs (synthetic opioids).

What is an Opiate?

Opioids are a class of drugs including medications which are typically prescribed to treat chronic pain, as well as illegal drugs.

• OxyContin
• Heroin
• Vicodin
• Morphine
• Hydrocodone
• Heroin
• Fentanyl
• Other prescription pain relievers

The opioid crisis was born in the 1990s when large pharmaceutical companies assured healthcare providers that the pain reveling medication was non-habit forming. Providers started prescribing the medication with high incidences around the country before it became known that the drugs were indeed highly addictive. Now, a national crisis, the volatile drug crisis now includes counterfeit pills and dangerous combinations of other drugs such as cocaine.

Signs of Addition:

If you suspect a loved one has become addicted to opiates, getting them the help they need is essential. If a person has become addicted they will most likely require intensive care at an inpatient rehabilitation center. Certain drugs, including buprenorphine, methadone, and extended-release naltrexone in a combination of behavioral counseling known as the “whole patient” approach has been effective in treating opioid abuse, according to The National Institute on Drug Abuse. While the effects of these drugs vary from person to person, here are some indicators to watch for:

• Having difficulty staying awake or falling asleep during normal times
• Needle marks on arms or legs (due to injected abuse)
• Flushed, itchy skin
• Impulsive actions and reckless decision-making
• Risky activities, such as driving under the influence
• Withdrawing from social activities
• Visiting multiple doctors to seek prescriptions
• Constricted pupils

Prevention:

Drug abuse is one of the leading causes of accidental death in the United States, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The recognition of abuse and understanding certain risk factors of the opioid epidemic is key to prevention. Some of these risk factors include:

• Past or current substance abuse
• Untreated psychiatric disorders
• Younger age
• Certain social situations that encourage misuse
• Other drug use
• High use of alcohol

The CDC is working on programs to create programs to monitor prescription drugs but ultimately, if you or someone you care about is abusing opioids it’s important to seek the help you need to recover and move on with your life successfully. For help in Illinois visit the Illinois Helpline today or call  833-2FINDHELP.

Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing exemplary customer services. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grief and mourning and will do whatever it takes to make our positive workplace environment translate to your experience with us. Adolf Funeral Home has been serving the Berwyn and Willowbrook areas for a number of years. We pride ourselves on being large enough to provide professionalism and reliability, yet small enough to provide personalized service. To discover more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website or call one of our locations today.

Sources:

https://www.cdc.gov/drugoverdose/epidemic/index.html

https://www.drugabuse.gov/drugs-abuse/opioids/opioid-overdose-crisis

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29049118

Getting Together for Gaddis

Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services would like to invite you to join us in supporting the local benefit, Getting Together for Gaddis. On Friday, March 29th from 7-11pm, the community will join together in helping Sgt. Gaddis and his family. Join us for food, drinks, and fun to remind the Gaddis family that no one fights alone. 

SGT Gaddis began his career with the Willowbrook Police Department in the summer of 1987. He’s served for over 30 years and is most well known as the department’s first K-9 officer. In June of 2006, then Officer Gaddis met his partner Icha. The two quickly became inseparable, and she continued to be a valued member of the Gaddis family after her retirement. Dave and his family began their battle over 2-years ago when his wife, Vickie, was diagnosed with tongue cancer. Dave has been by her side through thick and thin and has always tried to keep a sense of normalcy for their three sons. In May 2018, they got some good news: Dave was finally promoted to Sergeant. Just a few short months later though, Dave was diagnosed with stomach cancer. SGT Gaddis is committed to beating the odds and continues to work with his team of doctors to find the best treatment plan out there. Dave and Vickie continue to stay positive and are focused on the road ahead. 

If you’re wondering about how you can help, consider sponsoring the event! Here are the sponsorship level breakdowns:

• $100: Company name in the event program
• $250: The above plus your name added to the big screen at the event
• $500: The above plus your name added to the back of the t-shirt
• $1,000: All of the above plus two tickets to the event, a t-shirt, and a challenge coin

If you’d still like to donate but don’t want to sponsor the event, you can also donate gift cards, tickets to sporting and entertainment events, wine/liquor, or products and services. 

Tickets are $35 each for 21+ and $20 for 20 and under (must leave before 10pm). You can save $5 by purchasing your ticket in advance. If you’d like to learn more about Getting Together for Gaddis, please visit the benefit website here. 





What Can You Expect From Hospice Care?

While many people are sadly not blessed with a long and happy life, there eventually comes a point in life that everyone, at some time or another must face. The body that was once reliable and strong becomes weak and sickly. Age begins to become an enemy of sorts, introducing a multitude of problems that can be challenging and painful to those experiencing them. 

When this happens, when the body no longer has the energy or capacity to properly fight off debilitating disease, many choose to spend their final days in hospice care. It’s a difficult decision to make; in fact, for many, simply hearing the word “hospice” can cause an immediate sense of sorrow and dismay at a person’s current health situation. But often, having a better understanding of what’s to come can help ease the pain and anxiety those impacted constantly experience.

Hospice care is a type of care and philosophy of care that focuses on the palliation of a chronically and terminally ill patients, their pain and symptoms, and attending to their emotional and spiritual needs during an indescribably difficult time. According to WebMD, a patient may enter a program if your doctor states that you have a terminal illness and that death can be expected in 6-months or less. They can stay in hospice beyond that time if your doctor and the team decide they still have only a short time to live. 

Once a person has been admitted to hospice care, whether at home or in a facility, the patient’s team will come up with a special plan just for you and your loved ones. They will focus on making pain and symptoms better while providing regular checkups. A doctor -- either the patient’s individual doctor or one connected with a program -- will give medical care while nurses and aids also provide medical assistance and help with bathing, dressing, cleaning, and cooking. 

Choosing to place a loved one in hospice care is certainly not an easy decision; after all, for every person that is special to you, it is always too soon to say goodbye, and you hate to think of someone you love in a suffering state. But being properly informed about this final life stage, and the exceptional care people receive once they are in this situation, can only be described as comforting. Our team at Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services trusts the 5-star rated St. Thomas Hospice. For more information on Hospice Care and for any and all help regarding funeral arrangements, call our Berwyn location at 708-484-4111 or our Willowbrook location at 630-325-2300. 

Funeral Flags: How to Honor Our Veterans

When one of our military services members passes away, we want to honor them for all the heroic efforts they made. This is why the Flag Code was created and outlines how to honor our Veterans when they pass. Below are a few rules and common questions when it comes to funeral flags. 

Draping the Flag

• Closed casket: when the casket is completely closed, the union (blue field) is at the head and over the left shoulder of the deceased. This is said symbolize the flag embracing the deceased who in life served the flag. 
• Half couch (open): a flag used to drape a half couch casket should be placed three layers to cover the closed portion of the casket so that the blue field of the flag will be the top fold, and will be next to the open part of the casket. 
• Full couch (open): when the flag is being used to drape a full couch casket, it should be folded into a triangular shape and placed in the center of the head panel, just above the left shoulder of the deceased. 

During a funeral ceremony for a military veteran, the flag that was used to drape the casket will be held waist high above the grave by the pallbearers, and will be folded immediately following the playing of  “Taps.” After the flag is folded, it will be presented to the family of the fallen soldier. 

Funeral Honors

Funeral Honors are described as, “the ceremonial paying of respect and the final demonstration of the country’s gratitude to those who, in times of war and peace, have faithfully defended our nation. Members of the funeral honors detail fold and present the American flag to the veteran’s survivor and ‘Taps’ is sounded,” according to the Department of Defense Military Funeral Support. When the flag is presented to the next of kin the following language will be used as well, “On behalf of the President of the United States, (the United States Army; the United States Marine Corps; the United States Navy; or the United States Air Force), and a grateful Nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one’s honorable and faithful service.” 

Special thanks to Kerkstra's Cleaners in Burr Ridge. They are kind enough to beautifully press all the American Flags we present to our deceased Veterans. If you’ve lost a loved one that served our country, and aren’t sure how to proceed with the funeral, the experts at Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services can take care of the details. If you’d like to learn more about Military Funeral Honors, please visit the FAQ page here. 

References

http://www.ushistory.org/betsy/images/vba21-2008.pdf

http://www.arlingtoncemetery.net/customs.htm

https://fas.org/sgp/crs/misc/RS21545.pdf

http://www.ushistory.org/betsy/faq4.htm#q65

Creating a Legacy of Love

It’s a subject that no one likes to think about, but unfortunately, it’s a painful reality that everyone must face. There will come a time, whether it’s tomorrow, next year, or ten years from now, when someone you love will no longer be with you.

No one knows when or how that’s going to happen; it’s impossible to predict if that special person will be taken away from you suddenly or gradually.  Who can determine that the last time you see them really is the last time, or if you have countless visits before you? That’s why we are firm believers in the sentiment. “Treat each day like it’s your last.” But all of us at Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services also want to add one more saying to the common vernacular; “Treat everyone in your life as if it’s the last time you will ever see them.”

If life teaches us anything , it’s that it’s precious and much too short. We cannot waste any time dwelling in bitterness and unhappiness. Of course not every relationship is sunny and uncomplicated; everyone goes through their personal issues. But again, that precious life of yours and members of your family could be gone in a moment. How would you feel if your parting words were words of anger and resentment? Could you deal with the guilt you could feel if you no longer had the opportunity to repair a broken relationship?

Too many families we encounter in our line of work are ones that are dealing with regret. What if we wouldn’t have had that awful fight? Would things be different if we made up sooner? What would I say to them if I had one more chance to tell them I loved them, if I knew this was goodbye?

Death is a painful yet inevitable experience of life; we will all suffer the loss of dear friends and family members at some point in our life’s journey. That is outside of our control. But what is in our control is how we value those people while they are still here. Maintain the relationships that you currently hold most dear, and do whatever it takes to rebuild the bonds that, for one reason or another, were broken.

Plan your loved one’s service with comfort and peace, rather than pain and regret, with your friends and experts at Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services. Visit our website and contact us with your personal questions about planning your loved one’s service. We’d be honored to help you in  your grief.