Helping a Child Cope with Death

“Children will listen to you after they feel listened to.” ~ Jane Nelsen 

Most people believe that grief is more or less the same for everyone but that could not be farther from the truth, in fact, everyone handles grief in their own way. Each individual and relationship is as unique as their fingerprint so it comes as no surprise that how we cope with loss is also different. Unfortunately, there are a lot of myths surrounding how people grieve and cope with death, but this is especially true when it comes to children. Some believe that children are too young to actually go through the motions of grief but experts are finding this is not the case. In fact, research shows that not only do children grieve, but they grieve much differently and express themselves differently than adults. Here are just some of the many ways you can help a child cope with grief.  

Put emotions into words

Grief does not have a timeline so in the days, weeks, months, and even years that follow a death, it’s important to encourage kids to say what they are thinking and feeling and offer comfort, support, words of encouragement, and affection. 

Set expectations 

Nobody likes to be blind sighted and children are no exception. Try to be upfront with kids about what they can expect when it comes to memorial services, viewings, a celebration of life, cremation scatterings or any type of changes they may experience when it comes to a disruption in their schedule. If you need to be a part of the planning process for a service or need to spend time alone, let your child know who they will be staying with and how long you expect to be away so there are no surprises. 

Allow your child to have a role in the process

Giving your child a special role, even if it’s small such as a reading during the service or gathering their favorite photo of the person who died will make your child feel like they are a part of the experience and not left out. 

Help them remember 

Encourage your child to talk about the person and share their favorite memories of them with you. They had a different experience and relationship with that person and talking about them can not only help combat sad feelings but it could prove to be healing for you both. 

Allow them time

The process of grief does not have a timeline so it’s important to continue the conversations long after the loved one has died. Sharing memories and remembering the person stir good feelings and encourages discussions. 

Seek further support

If you notice your child coping with constant worry, sadness, or they are having trouble focusing and sleeping, they could benefit from counseling and grief support groups. Seek groups that specifically specializes in helping children cope with death. 

 Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing exemplary customer services. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grief and mourning and will do whatever it takes to make our positive workplace environment translate to your experience with us. Adolf Funeral Home has been serving the Berwyn and Willowbrook areas for a number of years. We pride ourselves on being large enough to provide professionalism and reliability, yet small enough to provide personalized service. To discover more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website or call one of our locations today.

Sources:

https://www.socialworktoday.com/archive/030415p20.shtm

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/death.htmll

Unique Funeral Traditions All Around The World

Classic American Funerals are a time to grieve and reflect, but we often forget it’s a wonderful time to celebrate life. Life is a beautiful journey, filled with wild adventures and bright colors, the opposite of the black outfits and the sorrowful sniffles that often fill the room of a funeral home. There are other beautiful ways to celebrate life here in the United States and all across the globe. Throughout history, different cultures have had different ways of expressing how they grieve and accept death. Read below to learn about some unique and traditional funerals. 

5 Unique Funeral Traditional

1. Beads to Ashes: In South Korea, people often cremate their loved ones and put their ashes into colorful beads! These beads can be vibrant colors, representing a loved one’s aura or personality. Due to limited space, they had to leave the Confucius burial tradition and came up with bead ashes. Some other forms often used to bury ashes include diamonds and other gems. 
2. New Orleans Jazz Funeral: Right here in America, New Orleans holds one of the most rambunctious, jazz-filled, funeral ceremonies. New Orleans authentically finds a happy medium between sorrow and joy, by using West African, French, and African-American culture with marching bands intertwined with melodic jazz and Cathartic dancing. 
3. Eco-Friendly Funerals: Environmentally friendly burials have increased in popularity over-time and tend to save burial space. Say goodbye to concrete or wooden caskets, and hello to biodegradable burials. These caskets naturally decompose into the ground. Another natural burial option includes a memorial reef ball. Reef balls essentially are your remains pressed and balled up into a reef somewhere in the ocean. This is a way to let someone’s life keep on giving. These ecofriendly burials both can make your body become a habitat for sea life and other animals. 
4. Tibet and Mongolian Sky Burial: Vajrayana Buddhists believe that a soul will leave the body after death, turning the body into an “empty vessel.” This is an example of the transmigration of spirits after death, meaning they believe the body has no value after death and the spirit holds everything. Buddhists will then take the body and put in on a mountain top to be snacked on by various animals. They believe is a generous way of giving back to animals and nature. 
5. Ghana Fantasy Coffins: Fancy and wild coffins of all shapes and sizes are made in Ghana to find a unique way to represent the deceased. Usually, they try to create the coffin to represent what they loved to do in life. From a Fish to a Mercedes-Benz, Ghana has some outrageous coffins that you would have never guessed held a body inside!

No matter what kind of ceremony you choose, always think of the deceased and if this is a way that represents their life. Cremation services allow family members to choose from burial to scattering remains to wherever they please. A memorial service or a traditional service is a beautiful way to say goodbye with all of their loved ones present. Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing exemplary customer services. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grief and mourning and will do whatever it takes to make our positive workplace environment translate to your experience with us. Adolf Funeral Home has been serving the Berwyn and Willowbrook areas for a number of years. We pride ourselves on being large enough to provide professionalism and reliability, yet small enough to provide personalized service. To discover more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website or call one of our locations today. 

Sources: 

https://www.buzzfeed.com/natalyalobanova/burial-funeral-world-practise-interesting

https://ideas.ted.com/11-fascinating-funeral-traditions-from-around-the-globe/

Beware of Scams & Fraud When A Loved One Dies

The death of a family member is a major stressor for those left behind who are dealing with shock and grief. When we lose a loved one, we also become vulnerable emotionally, and scammers know how to play on these emotions. Ruthless criminals prey on family members, particularly widows and widowers, by probing information found in obituaries and other public places. They steal identities, burgle homes, or otherwise con those who are grieving. Adolf Funeral Home is here to help you protect yourself and your family against these crooks. Below are some of the most common scams.  

Identity Theft

It’s almost impossible to not hear stories in the news about someone’s stolen identity. Scammers specifically target the deceased because they are unable to check credit or report fraud. These criminals comb through obituaries for personal information, such as dates of birth and death, addresses, and more. In addition, it has become easy for crooks to find or purchase Social Security numbers, open existing or new bank accounts, and file taxes and collect refunds. Luckily, surviving family members can protect themselves by limiting information published in an obituary. It’s also wise to provide copies of death certificates to the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) and to the big three credit reporting agencies (Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion) so criminals are blocked from filing taxes (and getting returns) or opening new accounts in the deceased’s name.

Inheritance Scams

Scammers have been known to contact distant surviving relatives claiming they are entitled to inheritance but they need to pay fees in order to claim it. These scams often take the form of a phone call, letter, or email. If these requests feel suspect, in all likelihood they are indeed scams. To protect yourself, always verify inheritance information by contacting the governing county in which the deceased passed. Never give out a credit card or other information over the phone or by email. And never make a payment in such cases via money order or wire transfer.

Life Insurance and Debt Collector Scams

Criminals often pose as insurance agents claiming the existence of life insurance policies that a grieving family may claim. Of course, the caveat is that the final payment is required to collect the benefits. Scammers also pose as debt collectors, claiming that the deceased had debts and that the family is now responsible. In both cases, scammers prey on the vulnerability of the family at a time when the family’s financial documents may not all be in order. To protect against these scams, be sure to verify policies or debts even exist, and never make payments to unknown or unverified entities.

Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing exemplary customer services. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grief and mourning, and will do whatever it takes to make our positive workplace environment translate to your experience with us. 

With locations in Berwyn and Willowbrook, we have been serving the Chicago area for over 100 years. We take pride in being large enough to provide professionalism and reliability, yet small enough to provide personalized service. To discover more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website or call one of our locations today. 

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Sources: 

https://www.forbes.com/sites/lizfrazierpeck/2017/05/31/when-a-loved-one-dies-how-to-protect-yourself-from-scams-identity-theft-and-creeps/#3067d83a72b5 

https://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/info-02-2009/a_dead_debt_.html 

https://keohane.com/community/watch-death-related-scams/

How to Write a Memorable Eulogy

“It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.”

Losing someone we love is never easy, but celebrating their life is a way to honor them and provide closure for those left behind. A well-crafted eulogy is often the most memorable part of a memorial service. Yet, it’s no easy task to sum up someone’s life on a piece of paper, especially if you are not experienced with public speaking and writing. The good news is, it doesn’t have to be a Pulitzer prize grammar-free piece of work you turn in to be graded, as long as it comes from the heart you really can’t go wrong. Here are some tips on how to write a memorable eulogy. 

Ask for help

There is a reason why people often say he/she left a fingerprint on their heart when they lose someone. Fingerprints, like the individual, are unique and so are the memories they leave. While you might have a bank of memories of the individual who has died, chances are friends and family will also have memories. Consider asking those closest to the individual who has died to share fond memories, stories, and humorous events. Just talking with others about the person may spark an idea and get your pen flowing easier.

Let yourself feel emotions

This is not a wedding toast so it’s common to become overwhelmed with feelings of sadness, especially if your eulogy is heartfelt. Accept that you could cry while up at the podium and that’s perfectly alright. Let yourself feel the emotions and take time to gather yourself and pause if you need to. 

It’s okay to have humor

A well-crafted eulogy will draw in your audience and make them feel what you’re feeling. If you are writing your eulogy about a person who had a great sense of humor, don’t be afraid to add stories, antics, or even silly jokes the person who died used to tell. Don’t forget, above all else, this is about them, not you. You don’t have to be serious, if the person who died was inherently funny, let that shine through, the best way you can honor them is by telling the story of their life.

Start a list

If you have writer’s block, consider making a list of all the person’s best qualities and start from there. What words stand out the most? Try to draw on the qualities, stories and personality traits that made that individual really special.

Think outside the box

Did the person who died have a favorite spot, song they loved or hobby? Considering beginning your eulogy by painting a picture of that, song lyrics, or even a favorite quote. 

Practice

When you are done with your eulogy consider practicing it. If you are not quite ready to share it with friends and family, practice in front of a mirror until you’re more confident. A memorial service or celebration is oftentimes planned out to the minute so you may be given a certain time constraint for your eulogy. Practicing your eulogy beforehand will ensure you stay within the time constraints and allows you time to cut back if it’s too lengthy. 

Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing exemplary customer services. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grief and mourning and will do whatever it takes to make our positive workplace environment translate to your experience with us. Adolf Funeral Home has been serving the Berwyn and Willowbrook areas for a number of years. We pride ourselves on being large enough to provide professionalism and reliability, yet small enough to provide personalized service. To discover more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website or call one of our locations today. 

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

“Each new life, no matter how brief forever changes the world.”

The loss of an infant during pregnancy or stillbirth is painful and devastating for many families. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, about 1 pregnancy in 100 at 20 weeks of pregnancy and later is affected by stillbirth, and each year about 24,000 babies are stillborn in the United States. 

In 1988, US President Ronald Reagan declared October as a month to recognize the unique grief of bereaved parents in an effort to demonstrate support to the many families who have suffered such a tragic loss. Here are some ways to remember and honor the loss of an infant this month. 

Light a Candle 

It seems like such a simple way to remember and mark an occasion, but the act of lighting a special candle to remember a loved one is a time-honored tradition. A candle is a soft and gentle symbol of light shining through the darkness. You can speak or read words of remembrance, light the candle on the exact time of your loss, or simply light the candle by your favorite place to reflect. 

Charity Event 

It seems like there is never a shortage of charitable events or ways to contribute. If you have experienced a loss and like ways to give back, educate, or simply be with individuals who have experienced a similar loss, a charitable contribution or volunteering might be for you. A simple google search should yield several events in your area or organizations you can help with to honor your loss. The March of Dimes is just one organization you can walk to raise money for, team shirts can be customized for all the lives cut short. 

Symbolic Jewelry or Tattoo

Special remembrance jewelry or a meaningful tattoo, whether it’s a bracelet or a pendant can bring comfort to parents who have experienced a loss. A simple statement bracelet with a quote, the baby’s name, or date can quickly become a favorite cherished piece. Jewelry can be for men and women so if you know someone who has experienced the loss of a baby, consider honoring their child with a piece of everlasting jewelry. Tattoos such as tiny footprints, the date, name, or special symbol is an everlasting reminder of the life lost.  

Plant a tree

There is something incredibly poignant about planting new life when one has ended. Planting and looking after a tree is a symbolic way of marking the baby’s life. Consider purchasing a plaque or a special marker to place near the tree. You’ll marvel at the growth of the tree and it will be a special living reminder of the age your child would have been each year. 

Stillborn and pregnancy loss can be devastating for parents and all family members involved but there are numerous heartfelt ways to honor the precious loss. Even the smallest gesture can have an impact.  Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing exemplary customer services. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grief and mourning and will do whatever it takes to make our positive workplace environment translate to your experience with us. Adolf Funeral Home has been serving the Berwyn and Willowbrook areas for a number of years. We pride ourselves on being large enough to provide professionalism and reliability, yet small enough to provide personalized service. To discover more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website or call one of our locations today.

Sources:

https://starlegacyfoundation.org/awareness-month/

https://www.cdc.gov/features/pregnancy-infant-loss-day/index.html

How to Handle Your Digital Legacy After Death

Remember the simple “good old days?” Pre-computer, cellphone, and the digital world? Just twenty years ago when someone died the executor would follow a pretty simple roadmap to settle the estate - accumulate the mail for a couple of months, go through files, and clean out the desk to collect all financial, legal, and health information. Now with a significant portion of our lives lived online, executorship can create a big headache for those left behind. How will your executor find your digital information, accounts, etc. if they have no clue what they’re looking for?

Inventory your digital legacy now - email, online bank accounts, and social media - as part of your estate planning. This can be overwhelming to think about organizing. For starters, break down your digital legacy into manageable categories. There are four categories to address.

Passwords

Firstly, your executor needs to be able to access your phone, your computer, and your accounts. Password managers are a very reliable tool for password management. They store your passwords and allow one designated emergency contact to access your “vault” upon your death or incapacitation. It is also advisable to keep your passwords in a Master Access Document that you create for your executor. This Master Access Document will include all of the secure information necessary upon your death including passwords and financial information. Communicate to your executor where this document will be kept - in a safe and protected location. 

Your Financial Life

Your executor should be able to access your bank accounts, credit cards, insurance policies, and investment accounts online. Include these passwords and access information in your Master Access Document. Also document your recurring payments, like subscriptions, utilities, loans, tuition, etc. This will be very helpful to your executor.

Credit Cards. Your executor should collect all of your cards and contact each company immediately to cancel the cards. They will need your name, social security number and the reason for the cancellation. Upon canceling a credit card for death, all of the subscription payments associated with that credit card will be canceled as well. Saves you a lot of work!

Email & Social Media

Email Addresses. Include the passwords to your email accounts in your Master Access Document. 

• Gmail allows you to set up an “inactive account manager” which means that your designee will be notified if you don’t log in your account for a certain period of time. 
• Microsoft sends a DVD of all the account data to the executor. 
• Yahoo does not turn over any account under any circumstances. 
• AOL will transfer ownership to any other username listed on the account. 

Social Media. Instagram will allow an account to be memorialized. Twitter will let an executor or family member deactivate an account. They will need to fill out a privacy form to report a death along with a death certificate, username, and proof of relationship with the executor to get the account deleted.

You can assign a legacy contact on your Facebook account by completing this form. Provide your name and email, along with the name of the deceased and the URL of their Facebook profile. There is an option to either delete or memorialize the account. Choose a legacy contact so that your account can be disposed of as you wish. You can assign someone by going to Settings > Security > Legacy Contact.

Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing exemplary customer services. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grieving and mourning and will do whatever it takes to make our positive workplace environment translate to your experience with us. Serving the Berwyn and Willowbrook areas for several years, we pride ourselves on being large enough to provide professionalism and reliability, yet small enough to provide personalized service. To learn more about how we can serve you, please visit our website or call one of our locations today.

Sources:

https://www.entrepreneur.com

https://www.popsci.com/

https://lifehacker.com

Techniques for Dealing with the Anniversary of a Death

Whether it has been one year or ten years after the death of a loved one, the anniversary of the date of their death weighs heavy on our hearts and minds. On the actual date, or the days leading up to or following it, it’s common to experience feelings of grief. 

There is no timeline on how you grieve or how long you should grieve, it varies from person to person. For some, it is a painful reminder of what they have lost. Others have discovered how to incorporate the memories into their daily lives. The thing about grief is that it is ongoing and you never fully move on;  you learn to accept that your life has changed forever. 

If you feel anxious or depressed (or any other array of emotions) as the anniversary of the death of a loved one approaches,  here are some suggestions to help you cope and heal:

Cherish the memories. It’s important to schedule memory time - whether it be an hour, an evening or full day - to remember your loved one. How you spend this time is also up to you. Some prefer to be alone with their memories and have a good cry. Others prefer to be in the company of friends and/or family members sharing stories and having a laugh. Still others may partake in an activity that reminds them of their loved one, such as taking a hike or watching a movie.  By focusing on and honoring the positive memories, you feel a connection to your loved one while helping to ease your pain in the process. 

Create a diversion. For some coping means getting away from your own thoughts or memories for an hour or two. Meeting a friend for lunch or taking a hike in the woods can help you escape for a bit. Immersing yourself in a hobby or chores around the house can give you a sense of accomplishment. 

Traditions - old and new. On the anniversary date, it’s common to recall family traditions such as Thanksgiving at Grandma's house or summers at the lake, and then realize that your loved one will no longer be a part of these gatherings. However, you can honor your loved one’s memory by starting new traditions. If you loved one enjoyed giving back to the community, volunteer for a cause or charity that meant a lot to him or her. Buy a bouquet of his or her favorite flowers on the anniversary date. Not only will this help put positive associations with the anniversary of the death, but he or she will also comfort knowing you are keeping their memory alive. 

Be kind. Grief is a difficult thing, and it's okay to allow yourself to feel all the emotions (good and bad) associated with it. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. However you choose to cope, do it because it feels right to you. 

Adolf Funeral Home & Cremation Services provides the service expertise, guidance, and understanding that is needed during one of the most difficult and emotional times in an individual’s life. It is our commitment to respect a family’s choice regarding arrangement services and help coordinate a meaningful tribute to someone’s life.

To learn more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website or call one of our locations today. 

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Sources

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/end-of-life/in-depth/grief/art-20045340/

https://oureverydaylife.com/long-distance-friend-deal-grief-35180.html