Welcoming a new life into the world is a beautiful and miraculous moment. Unfortunately, not everyone is so lucky: 10-15% of pregnancies end in miscarriage and another 1% end in stillbirth. Additionally, more than 5 out of 1,000 infants die within their first year. While those numbers may seem small, pregnancy and infant loss affects more people than you think, including someone you know well. As October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, now is a great time to learn how you can support someone after the loss of a baby.
Everyone handles grief differently, so it's important to remember that what's
helpful to one person might not be helpful to another. Regardless, showing
support, even in the smallest of ways, can go a long way with any grieving
parent.
Look at some of the most helpful tips from parents who have experienced a loss so that you know how to help someone dealing with grief:
· Give Space. After the loss of a
baby or pregnancy, it's natural to want to offer
support to the parents and family however you can. But sometimes, that love can
be overwhelming and remind them of the pain and loss they are experiencing. In
these times, it can sometimes be best to give the family the space they need to
grieve in their own way. Take the lead from them, and follow suit based on
their wants. Sometimes the best thing you can do is physically be there for
them, making yourself present and willing, without actively talking about the
loss. Even your presence can be comforting!
· Listen. Ask general questions like "how are you?" or
"how are you feeling," which will invite them to speak about their
grief if they wish to. Once they begin talking, politely but thoughtfully ask
more questions about how you can help and listen to what they say. Allowing
them to express their feelings can help family members process their grief. If you're unsure what to say, a simple "I'm
sorry" is sometimes enough—just acknowledge what they're
going through rather than avoid it.
· Give Practical
Assistance. Offer some practical assistance to
the family to help them get through this difficult time.
Remember, in the case of a stillbirth, a mother will have just gone through the
complex process of childbirth and may be physically recovering. Others may not
have the emotional stamina to take care of themselves and may not even know
what to ask for. Make concrete suggestions, like "can I make you some
meals?" or "can I get anything from the grocery store for you?"
If they have other children, ask if they need help getting them to school and
other appointments or if they need to be driven somewhere. This help can lift a
huge burden off their shoulders.
· Acknowledge the Baby. You may think that
avoiding the topic of the baby is the best course of action, but it can be
deeply comforting for the parents to acknowledge the baby's existence. Try not
to throw anything away, and never refer to the baby as "it." Use the
baby's name if appropriate, as it may be one of the
few times the parents can use the chosen name. You can also ask other questions
about the baby, like the weight, any potential names they were considering,
hair color, etc. Recognizing that the baby was a real person, instead of
avoiding the topic, can support the parents even more than you know.
· Check In. Grieving doesn't stop; it just gets easier. No matter how long ago the loss occurred, continue to check in with the family to see how they are feeling and how you can keep supporting them. Many families initially feel supported right after the loss, but when support dwindles over time, it can make loved ones feel isolated. Encourage them to continue processing their feelings, speaking about it as they wish, without telling them to "move on" from their grief. This is especially important during holidays, anniversaries, or birthdays, when the pain of the loss may be brought to the forefront.
Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing exemplary customer service. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grief and mourning. We will do whatever it takes to make our positive workplace environment translate to your experience with us.
Adolf Funeral Home has served the Berwyn and
Willowbrook areas for many years. We pride ourselves on being large enough to
provide professionalism and reliability yet small enough to provide
personalized service. To discover more about how we can serve your needs,
please visit our website or call one of our
locations today.
Sources:
https://www.marchofdimes.org/complications/dealing-with-grief-after-the-death-of-your-baby.aspx
https://healthmatters.nyp.org/tips-to-support-someone-after-the-loss-of-a-baby/
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