How to Clean a Headstone

 

Gravestones are a beautiful way to commemorate the memory of a loved one and can last for generations upon generations. Over time, however, headstones can accumulate a build-up of grime and dirt that can seriously ruin the overall look of the stone. To keep headstones looking their best, plan to do periodic, gentle cleanings of the stone to remove any of that outdoor build-up.

Cleaning a gravestone requires careful motions and specific tools and materials to keep the stone safe during cleaning. These materials include: 

• Five gallons of water. The cemetery likely won't have a water source for you to connect to, so make sure you bring plenty of water to use!
• Soft brushes and sponges. Make sure you're using natural materials free of dyes, not to transfer any color to the headstone. You'll also want a soft brush with natural bristles and a sponge without the rough side to prevent scratches.
• Scrapers. For areas needing more help, use a wooden or plastic scraper to remove any dirt and debris stuck on or in a small crevice. Avoid using any metal to prevent scratches.
• Towels. Use soft, large towels to dry off the headstone when finished. 

Once you've gathered your materials, follow these steps to ensure a smooth and safe process: 

1. Pick a day with mild weather to clean the headstone. If it is too hot, water can evaporate too quickly.
2. Start to remove any build-up from the headstone. Start with larger pieces of dirt, using your scrapers and pickers to help remove it. Do your best to go slowly and carefully to avoid damaging the stone.
3. Start gently cleaning your stone using your water supply, sponge, and brushes. Keep the stone wet throughout the process, as dry cleaning can damage the stone. Start at the bottom and work your way up to prevent dirty water from dripping. Repeat as needed until the headstone is clean. Make sure you're using your clean water supply throughout and that you're NOT using any soap or chemical material.
4. Once cleaned to your satisfaction, dump the rest of your clean water over the stone to rinse the gravestone.
5. Dry the stone with towels.

Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing exemplary customer service. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grief and mourning. Our staff will do whatever it takes to make our workplace environment positive, which translates to your experience with us. 

Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services has served the Berwyn and Willowbrook areas for many years. We pride ourselves on being large enough to provide professionalism and reliability yet small enough to provide personalized service. To discover more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website, or call one of our locations today.

 

Sources:

https://www.funeralhelpcenter.com/how-to-clean-a-cemetery-tombstone-or-marker/

https://ohsospotless.com/how-to-clean-a-gravestone/

https://www.headstonehub.com/blog/how-to-clean-a-headstone

Grieving During the Holidays

 

Grief is complicated for anyone to process, but it can be especially difficult to navigate during the holiday season. Whether you’re coping with a recent or distant loss, the holiday season is a time full of celebrating traditions with family and friends, and it’s natural to feel an overwhelming sense of grief during this time. Remember, there’s no timetable or correct way to process grief, and feelings can come in waves. Understanding how these feelings affect you is essential so that you know how to deal with your grief.

Here are some helpful tips if you or a loved one are grieving during the holidays: 

·       Fill Gaps. You might see gaps in your holiday plans now that you’re coping with losing a family member or loved one. For example, did grandpa always dress up as Santa Claus, or did your cousin host the holiday party? Who organizes and brings the food? These roles will need to be filled. Try to plan how and who can fill these roles ahead of the holiday season so that it’s easier when the holidays come around.

·       Fill Your Schedule. Stay busy if you can and fill your schedule with events to spend time with your loved ones. It can help you avoid unnecessary moments of grief, and spending time with other friends and family can help make the holiday season even more enjoyable.

·       Set Boundaries. Though staying busy is certainly good, it’s also okay to set boundaries with yourself and others during this difficult time. Participate and attend whatever feels comfortable to you. Remember that even though there may be pressure to go to different events and parties, it’s essential to put your needs first. Commit to the events you think you can handle and remind yourself that you don’t need to stay the entire time if you don’t want to.

·       Feel Your Emotions. Tune in to your emotions and feel both the positive and negative feelings you may have while grieving. Remember that it’s okay to miss your loved one and still have a fun time celebrating during the holidays! If you’re feeling more negative feelings than positive, or if you’re feeling overwhelmed, reach out for professional help from your health team, counseling, or support group.

·       Honor Traditions, While Creating New Ones. Create new traditions during the holidays with the people you have around you. New practices don’t replace old ones! Try a new seasonal dessert or play a fun game with a new group of people. It will be enjoyable for you and will also help you look forward to next year. It can also feel therapeutic to honor your old traditions without your loved one—this beautifully shows respect and remembrance. 

Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing exemplary customer service. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grief and mourning. We will do whatever it takes to make our positive workplace environment translate to your experience with us. 

Adolf Funeral Home has served the Berwyn and Willowbrook areas for many years. We pride ourselves on being large enough to provide professionalism and reliability yet small enough to provide personalized service. To discover more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website, or call one of our locations today.

 

Sources:

https://www.vitas.com/family-and-caregiver-support/grief-and-bereavement/holidays-and-grief/coping-with-grief-during-the-holidays

https://thepsychologygroup.com/how-to-cope-with-grief-during-the-holidays/ https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/grief-and-loss-throughout-the-holiday-season

 

Memorial Ideas for Veterans Day

 

Veterans Day is the one dedicated day of the year that Americans can pause and honor those who served in the United States Military. This year, take some time to celebrate and remember our brave service members through special memorial activities. Whether you’re with family, friends, or younger children, you can do plenty of things with others to come together and celebrate what is truly important.

Here are some simple yet special ways to honor our soldiers this Veterans Day: 

·       Read Stories. It can be hard for anyone, especially young ones, to understand what veterans go through when they join the military. Take some time to read some firsthand accounts from veterans so you can get a glimpse of their experience. Once you’ve read some of their stories, it’s easy to see the magnitude of their sacrifice and contribution. It is also a great way to introduce the topic to children, as some kids may need a slower introduction to these discussions.

·       Talk with Veterans. Reach out to veterans in your area to meet with them. Putting a face to a name and starting conversations with veterans is the best way to honor those who lost their lives. Ask questions and let them lead the conversation, taking the time to understand their experience. This allows their legacy to live on long after they are gone.

·       Write a Thank You Note. If you’re not up to meeting face-to-face with a veteran, consider writing a thank-you note. Many local groups and nonprofits will help connect you with a veteran to write to. A Million Thanks is a great organization that can connect you with active and retired service members.

·       Visit a Cemetery. Go to a National Cemetery or a cemetery dedicated to veterans to pay your respects. Walk around and read some of the gravestones, reading the names and the years of their death to envision their experience and possibly learn what war they fought in. If you would like, bring something small to leave in tribute to them, like a small flag or flowers. When in doubt, you can always donate to the cemetery.

·       Go to a Museum. Military museums are all over the country and are great educational resources for you to learn more about American history and the military. Bring the family to make it a day of learning or go by yourself to quietly absorb the information and reflect alone.

·       Attend a Parade. Plenty of local events and parades happen each year in cities and small towns across the country. Check your local community boards, papers, and postings for different parades. Other local events may include races, clothing drives, and other charity events.

Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing exemplary customer service. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grief and mourning. We will do whatever it takes to make our positive workplace environment translate to your experience with us.

Adolf Funeral Home has served the Berwyn and Willowbrook areas for many years. We pride ourselves on being large enough to provide professionalism and reliability yet small enough to provide personalized service. To discover more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website or call one of our locations today.

 

 

Sources:

 https://www.signupgenius.com/groups/veterans-day-activities-ideas.cfm#:~:text=Plan%20a%20Candlelight%20Vigil%20%2D%20Organize,who%20fought%20for%20the%20country.

https://www.va.gov/burials-memorials/memorial-items/

https://www.joincake.com/blog/honoring-veterans/

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Month: How to Help Someone Dealing with Grief

 

Welcoming a new life into the world is a beautiful and miraculous moment. Unfortunately, not everyone is so lucky: 10-15% of pregnancies end in miscarriage and another 1% end in stillbirth. Additionally, more than 5 out of 1,000 infants die within their first year. While those numbers may seem small, pregnancy and infant loss affects more people than you think, including someone you know well. As October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, now is a great time to learn how you can support someone after the loss of a baby. 

Everyone handles grief differently, so it's important to remember that what's helpful to one person might not be helpful to another. Regardless, showing support, even in the smallest of ways, can go a long way with any grieving parent.

Look at some of the most helpful tips from parents who have experienced a loss so that you know how to help someone dealing with grief: 

·       Give Space. After the loss of a baby or pregnancy, it's natural to want to offer support to the parents and family however you can. But sometimes, that love can be overwhelming and remind them of the pain and loss they are experiencing. In these times, it can sometimes be best to give the family the space they need to grieve in their own way. Take the lead from them, and follow suit based on their wants. Sometimes the best thing you can do is physically be there for them, making yourself present and willing, without actively talking about the loss. Even your presence can be comforting!

·       Listen. Ask general questions like "how are you?" or "how are you feeling," which will invite them to speak about their grief if they wish to. Once they begin talking, politely but thoughtfully ask more questions about how you can help and listen to what they say. Allowing them to express their feelings can help family members process their grief. If you're unsure what to say, a simple "I'm sorry" is sometimes enough—just acknowledge what they're going through rather than avoid it.

·       Give Practical Assistance. Offer some practical assistance to the family to help them get through this difficult time. Remember, in the case of a stillbirth, a mother will have just gone through the complex process of childbirth and may be physically recovering. Others may not have the emotional stamina to take care of themselves and may not even know what to ask for. Make concrete suggestions, like "can I make you some meals?" or "can I get anything from the grocery store for you?" If they have other children, ask if they need help getting them to school and other appointments or if they need to be driven somewhere. This help can lift a huge burden off their shoulders.

·       Acknowledge the Baby. You may think that avoiding the topic of the baby is the best course of action, but it can be deeply comforting for the parents to acknowledge the baby's existence. Try not to throw anything away, and never refer to the baby as "it." Use the baby's name if appropriate, as it may be one of the few times the parents can use the chosen name. You can also ask other questions about the baby, like the weight, any potential names they were considering, hair color, etc. Recognizing that the baby was a real person, instead of avoiding the topic, can support the parents even more than you know.

·       Check In. Grieving doesn't stop; it just gets easier. No matter how long ago the loss occurred, continue to check in with the family to see how they are feeling and how you can keep supporting them. Many families initially feel supported right after the loss, but when support dwindles over time, it can make loved ones feel isolated. Encourage them to continue processing their feelings, speaking about it as they wish, without telling them to "move on" from their grief. This is especially important during holidays, anniversaries, or birthdays, when the pain of the loss may be brought to the forefront.

Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing exemplary customer service. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grief and mourning. We will do whatever it takes to make our positive workplace environment translate to your experience with us. 

Adolf Funeral Home has served the Berwyn and Willowbrook areas for many years. We pride ourselves on being large enough to provide professionalism and reliability yet small enough to provide personalized service. To discover more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website or call one of our locations today.

 

Sources:

https://www.marchofdimes.org/complications/dealing-with-grief-after-the-death-of-your-baby.aspx

https://healthmatters.nyp.org/tips-to-support-someone-after-the-loss-of-a-baby/

https://www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support/stillbirth-information-and-support/family-and-friends-how-give-support-after-stillbirth

 

 

Suicide Prevention Month: How to Talk to Someone Who is Struggling

 

Suicide Prevention Month is an excellent time for you to learn how you can support others who may be struggling with suicidal thoughts. It’s time to raise awareness and destigmatize this significant health issue so that we can spread hope and positivity and get the proper resources to those who need them most. 

Suicide does not discriminate and can affect anyone, regardless of circumstances, prior health history, or family history. Often, however, those with suicidal thoughts display other warning sides that can signal suicide ideation. If you can recognize these signs, then you may be able to help your loved one get the help and hope they need.

Talking with someone struggling is no easy task, and it’s important to remember that you aren’t the only one who can help them. Plenty of professional resources available can give them the proper level of care they need. But if you notice any warning signs, be prepared to support them so they can seek help immediately.

Here are some steps to take when talking to someone who is struggling with their mental health: 

·       Ask Questions. You may need to ask your loved one, “are you having suicidal thoughts?” It is certainly a difficult question to ask, but it will help you determine the level of care they need. You may also want to ask if they have a specific plan on how they would commit suicide, so you can remove any items from the home that would put that plan into action. Also, ask if you can help them reach out to their family members, psychologist, psychiatrist, or other supportive people around them.

·       Listen. Be there for them by just listening. Acknowledge their feelings and try to understand how and why they are feeling the way they are. Sometimes just sharing feelings can help an affected person feel much better; studies show that talking about suicide and acknowledging these feelings can reduce suicidal thoughts. Express your support and love when you can but take the time to hear what they are saying.

·       Stay Calm. Suicide is an emotional and frightening topic, so it’s natural to respond emotionally to what your loved one is saying. Try your best to stay calm and patient, and don’t get overly emotional. Ask simple and direct questions, and try not to argue, raise your voice, or threaten anyone. Don’t talk about your feelings about their suicidal thoughts, and keep the conversation focused on them. The calmer you are, the more rationally you’ll think, and the more you can help them.

·       Keep Them Safe. Logistically, keep your loved one as safe as possible by removing any lethal items from their environment. If they have told you that they have a plan for how they would kill themself, immediately remove the things that are part of that plan. Remove other items in their home that may also be dangerous, such as guns, knives, pills, etc.

·       Connect Them to Resources. Remind them that so many resources are available for them at all hours of the day if they need help. Put the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline number (988) into their phone, which they can call or text anytime. You may also want to connect them to the Crisis Text Line (741741), which they can text for help. If you have connections to other mental health professionals, feel free to send those contacts to them. Click here for a complete list of suicide prevention resources and numbers.

·       Stay Supportive. Stay connected after the crisis and show support as they heal. Showing love and support after an emotional time can make all the difference in their mental recovery—studies even show that suicide deaths decrease when people follow up and reach out to those with suicidal thoughts.

Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing exemplary customer services. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grief and mourning. We will do whatever it takes to make our positive workplace environment translate to your experience with us.

Adolf Funeral Home has served the Berwyn and Willowbrook areas for several years. We pride ourselves on being large enough to provide professionalism and reliability yet small enough to provide personalized service. To discover more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website or call one of our locations today.

 

Sources:

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/suicide-prevention

https://jedfoundation.org/suicide-prevention-awareness-month-2021/

https://nami.org/Get-Involved/Awareness-Events/Suicide-Prevention-Awareness-Month-(SPAM)

https://afsp.org/suicide-prevention-resources

 

 

 

Grieving During the Digital Age

 

Grieving the loss of a loved one is an emotional and difficult process, made even more so now during the digital age. With the prevalence of social media in our lives, dealing with the loss of a loved one can be even more challenging to navigate. Similarly, it’s essential to know the proper etiquette of grieving so that you don’t inadvertently offend anyone dealing with the loss of a loved one.

It’s important to remember that grieving etiquette isn’t necessarily “one size fits all.” You should always do what you think is best for you and the person experiencing grief. Just lead with your heart and be as genuine as possible, and you’ll be golden! With that said, here are some tips to help guide your social media usage while grieving online: 

·       Wait to Post. If you aren’t an immediate family member or close friend, you should wait to post or announce the death of a loved one. This can be deeply offending, overwhelm those going through loss, and look like you’re “competing” to announce the news first. Always wait for the announcement from a family member, then write your post.

·       Avoid Too Many Photos. Avoid bombarding the feed with too many photos when deciding what to include in your post. Pick a few meaningful pictures of your loved one, accompanied by a short yet thoughtful message. Too many photos can be overwhelming and emotional for the immediate family, who are already processing the loss in their own way.

·       It’s Never Too Late. The timing of the feed is unpredictable, and you might see an announcement of the death days or even weeks after it has happened. Many people are unsure whether to comment on a post sending their condolences. Our answer: why not? The person grieving is likely to see it later and feel heartened by your love and well wishes, no matter when the message comes. It’s a wonderful way to connect without stepping over too many boundaries. Just keep your message short, simple, and sweet.

·       Get Funeral Information. Instead of reaching out for funeral information, wait for a post on Facebook or Instagram announcing the date, time, and location of service. People are very likely to post this information online to reach a broad audience of people who may be interested without having to reach out individually to absolutely everyone. Remember, the family is likely distraught during this time—taking the burden off them of having to repeat this conversation several times is a caring gesture on your part.

·       Make Personal Contact. After posting or leaving a comment online, remember to connect offline and make personal contact with the bereaved. A handwritten note, an email, or a voicemail message are all great ways to personally reach out without overstepping. If you’re especially close to the bereaved, consider making a phone call, or see if there is anything you can do to help the family, like bringing them meals or groceries. 

Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing exemplary customer services. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grief and mourning. We will do whatever it takes to make our positive environment translate to your experience with us. 

Adolf Funeral Home has served the Berwyn and Willowbrook areas for several years. We pride ourselves on being large enough to provide professionalism and reliability yet small enough to provide personalized service. To discover more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website or call one of our locations today.

 

Sources:

https://www.ahealthiermichigan.org/2020/08/21/grief-digital-age-etiquette/

https://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/mind-body/wellness/8-ways-to-follow-proper-death-etiquette-in-the-age-of-instagram/news-story/772b8c703e1e0e95ee111db857d18350

https://ehospice.com/canada_english_posts/how-grief-is-evolving-in-the-digital-age/

 

 

 

Talking to Children About Death

Death is, unfortunately, a natural part of life, and explaining the passing of a loved one can be difficult for a child to process. While it's certainly important to be sensitive to a child's emotional needs during loss, it's also an excellent opportunity to take the time to explain what death is to your young children or teens and help them deal with the emotions they may feel during that time. But what are the best ways to approach that conversation, and what should you say or do?

Before you begin talking, consider these tips to help guide you through your conversation: 

• Be Honest. It's natural to want to protect your children from some of the harsh realities of life, but it's crucial that you are as open and honest as possible with your kids so that they know the truth and how to mourn. Remember, most children can feel emotions and see when you're not telling the truth, which can sometimes lead to them inventing their own version of the truth to help them fill in the gaps. Don't pretend it didn't happen; share the reality of the situation openly, and feel free to share your emotions with your kids, too! 

• Share Information. Try to share factual information with your young ones, if you can. For example, you may want to tell them there will be a funeral service and what happens during one, so share when you may be attending. But feel free to share information in small doses- most kids will not be able to handle all of the details at once, so giving them little bits at a time will be easier for them to process. You can also gauge their feelings about it by the questions they ask, which can help you navigate what information to share. 

• Use Real Words. Death isn't a great time to sugarcoat the facts, so use actual words as much as possible. Avoid using "passed away," "lost," or even "crossed over," and use "dead" or "died." Using these realistic words to describe death will help children in their grieving process in the long run. 

• Expect a Range of Emotions. Once you share the information about death, particularly if a loved one passed away, you should expect a wide range of emotional responses. Some children may have many questions, some may be sad with lots of crying, and others may be very angry. You may even see young ones crying hysterically one minute and playing with their friends the next. The initial trauma is likely to have more powerful emotions, and that's okay. Let them process the information in their own way and feel their own feelings. Everyone grieves differently, and you'll have time to continue the discussion later. 

• Answer Questions. Remind yourself to answer any questions your kids may have, even if you're uncomfortable or want to shield them from sad information. Questions indicate curiosity about something they don't understand, so creating a safe space is essential to help them grieve healthily. If you don't know the answer to something, it's always okay to tell them that you don't know. 

Adolf Funeral Home and Cremation Services prides itself on providing exemplary customer services. We take every measure to ensure you are satisfied with all your funeral planning and burial needs during this sensitive time of grief and mourning. We will do whatever it takes to make our positive workplace environment translate to your experience with us. 

Adolf Funeral Home has been serving the Berwyn and Willowbrook areas for many years. We pride ourselves on being large enough to provide professionalism and reliability yet small enough to provide personalized service. To discover more about how we can serve your needs, please visit our website or call one of our locations today. 

---

Sources: 

https://www.npr.org/2019/04/24/716702066/death-talking-with-kids-about-the-end 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/two-takes-depression/201612/the-dos-and-donts-talking-child-about-death 

https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/healthy-communication/talking-with-children-about-death/